today

today i have decided that love is a choice.
attraction is a chemical switch in your brain that you can't control.
but love is a lifestyle, a mindset that you either chose to partake in or chose to pass by.

i was not quoting anything or anyone this time. that was all me.

the past week has just simply been an eye opener for me. trying to be a friend to someone angry with me and leaving in a week, will be gone for 6+ months. quickly recovered from a minor heartache, but pretty sure he's still in the dark. want to save him but can't. totally and completely ready to write off men right as he comes into my life and completely and totally takes me be surprise. "swept me off my feet". i'm a little confused and scared but a part of me knows that everything really is going to work out and be ok this time around. i hope this optimistic side of me is right. i honestly will consider being single for the rest of my life if my heart is ripped to shreds in front of my face again.

too much boy drama. ready for it to stop. ready to actually feel loved by someone.
i know i can make that conscious choice to love, but can i find someone, a Man not a Boy, to chose to love me too?.... i have to remind myself that i'm young maybe in a few years i will. i've always been impatient..