in need..

sitting in class..
absolutely nothing to do..
i'd totally get on facebook!...........but the school computers wont let you go on those sights..
and i'd watch some sort of tv online...............but my computer's sound isnt working..
So!!
here i am sitting in class listening to my ipod and letting my thoughts race.. my thoughts are starting to give up.. losing its own race..

yes. thats busy. that sick of being sick. that tired.. in need of a break.
but ya know we're performing rules of comedy next week and i think once i'm on stage performing and this tri is over things will turn up again. and also its the sweethearts dance tomorrow and i'm really excited for that! it will be nice and relaxing and fun and i'll blow some steam through dance. best way to blow steam :} another is performing. another is poetry. i'm currently writing a great one. i'll post it when its finished and polished.
another great way to blow steam? venting.. thanks for reading mine. i already feel better..

WAIT! one more thing!! i suffer from a very severe and deathly case of spring fever.. i cant express the agnst and the need for warm thin jacket weather.


that is all.
thanks for letting me lift a little of this load.

advice on college? :/

ok..so! heres the thing. i need to decide what exactly i'm doing after i graduate, and i'm having a difficult time because no matter which way i go i'm on my own financially which scares me.
so heres my situation. for absolute sure i will be going to ucmt (utah college of massage therapy) in a year or two. thats a 7 month college and is one of the best massage therapy schools in the nation. i am for sure going there. but now i have the dilemma of what to do till then. i did get accepted to suu in cedar city and i have a $1000 scholarship there and i would love to go there for a year to gain some university experience and to have a fun little adventure. but i would be on my own 5ish hours away from home without a car and about $250 in addition to my scholarship. i'm scared of getting into some serious debt for a year of college that wont help me towards my career. so i have the other option of working for a year and saving up my money for ucmt.
now i look at this situation and the smart one would be staying home and working, but i dont want to miss out on a good opportunity. so.. if there is any advice anybody could give me and help me give me some insight so that i can make this decision before its too late..

update!

hey! its been a while since i've blogged. so ok i'm gonna update!
so i went to uta a little while ago. it was soo much fun! we went to a lot of fun workshops, saw some awesome plays, i got new headshots, and got to spend so much fun with jon and all my theater buddies! it was so much fun best uta ever! :D also while we were there, i asked jon to sweethearts, brightons valentines dance! i made him go on a scavenger hunt! it lasted the whole 3 days! it was great! :D and he doesnt want to admit it, but jon loved it ;)
and then this week, i'm performing in the dance concert at brighton. i'm doing some ballroom! jitterbug! its way fun :D and then next week and week after that we're doing after school rehearsals for rules of comedy, and then on the first weekend of march, 4, 5, and 6, we'll be performing the show! you all should come see! its about, well, the rules of comedy, and we apply these rules to shakespeare's hamlet! starts at 7, tickets are 5 each, and the audience will be sitting on the stage with the actors so that means fewer seats. only about 100 seats maybe a little more each night, so if you could get back to me and get pre-sold tickets, that would be better and you would get a guaranteed seat. so please get back to me if youre interested!
so, finishing my update, my life is theater, work, and my wonderful boyfriend jon! yup! love that boy.. yeah! lol! :D

i need a hero!

hello! its the happy weekend! and i had so much fun! friday we didnt have school and i got to sleep in look at some music for theater and i just sat at home and relaxed. it was so nice! and then yesterday, i rehearsed my scene with mike. i love that scene! its so deep and simple at the same time. its really quite poetic! ok i have to explain it now that i have perked your interest ;) so its about these two strangers riding a ferris wheel together. the man, john, is a traveling salesman trying to quit smoking. the woman, dorie, is an eccentric person and rides a ferris wheel once a year to get over her fear of heights. these two people are in their late 20s/early 30s and they're single and even though these people are completely different from each other, they both have this want this need for human contact and a connection with someone. so they get to know each other while they're stuck on this ferris wheel and its really touching and funny and its just a great scene! and i have a great scene partner! our scene's gonna rock in comp!

so yeah! we rehearsed our scene in the early afternoon. then at like 6 jon and bowen picked me and alicia up for theme. we went to noodles & company for dinner, then we went to the dance. we were at the dance for quite a while! i didnt think we'd stay that long..but we were there almost for the whole thing. we stayed til the last song. then we went to walmart and we had a scavenger hunt! it was soo fun!! we ended with a tie..even though me and jon kicked butt..lol! yeah it was sooo much fun!!

and then today is my daddy's birthday! i dont think he'd be entirely happy if i put his age up on blog so..lol! but he and my mom went out friday night and came home saturday afternoon. they seemed to have a lot of fun and dad was really happy for his birthday, so thats all that matters! lol! yeah fun stuff! and now the next big thing is this next weekend we're going to uta! i'll be sure to take pictures and post on facebook and i'll put the best ones on blog. lol! so thanks jon bowen and alicia for a super fun weekend! lots of love!

alicia, bowen, me, and jon

lois lane and clark kent/superman

mary jane watson and peter parker/spiderman

damsels in distress! save me superman/spiderman!

superheroes revealed!

maida and jon, theme '09 <3

:/

i havent blogged in a while.. course not much has happened.. although much will! and that'll be my next big blog. but for right now i wait for the great exciting things to happen. and i'm still working on patience..... its hard. :/
but these past few weeks have been good! i was sick for a while though. in fact its really weird. cuz well ok! so the last weekend of the winter break, i got a migraine and such and it wasnt much fun.. oh! side note! that sunday i went and surprised jon from the airport cuz he was in florida the whole 2 weeks and i went with his sister to pick him up and it was so fun to surprise him :D anywho..during that i was ill. and i missed school cuz of the migraine and such. and then i had this weird freak thing happen..my ear was plugged up for 2-3 days and it just unplugged itself over night and it was weird. and then i was really weak and such and then i woke up one day and my eyes were puffy! like really puffy it was weird! and my throat was a little swollen too.. so i went to the doctor. the doctor didnt even know what was up with my puffy eyes! weird..but he said that i probably had either strep throat or mono.. the whole mono thing would not have been cool.. and he took a strep test and it was negative but he gave me drugs for strep anyway and i started taking them and i didnt even use all of them before i got better..... so yeah that was just weird!
and then for this past week i've just been hanging out.. nothing extreme or exciting. well i've been working for my teacher ati so that i could go to uta cuz it cost 180 and i dont have 180..so we, me and jon cuz he's poor too, were working to pay that off and today is our last day! we've been working for her for about a month now..so thats exciting :) oh and i'm going to the theme dance this weekend, my dad's birthday is sunday, i get to meet jon's dad that lives in dc this weekend, and next week we're going to uta in ogden/weber state where lots of fun alumni go to school and all sorts of super exciting stuff like that! so fun to come! but right now..nottin. :/

we're stupid

its amazing what a little thing like waking up early can do for your mind. for the christmas break i have been sleeping in till 11 or noon every day cuz i prefer to sleep half the day away i guess..makes the break go by faster..but today i decided i'd wake up early so when i get up for 9 o clock church tomorrow and when i go back to school on monday i'm not dying. and even though i only got a few hours of sleep last night, being alone in the quiet living room with the sun coming up letting light slowly come in through the windows, i find myself more alert and my strange and obscure mind is actually functioning and i'm..thinking..weird....i also actually took my vitamins and pills today maybe that has something to do with it too..i dunno.
so anywho, with my mind being more alert, i let my crazy random mind go and i randomly came upon the thought of how dramatic high school is, particularly on the subject of dating. i think i came upon this subject because one, i was looking up a play that i took a monologue out of and my character in the play is a high school student who just wants to be loved, but she's quirky and obsessive compulsive and has strange dreams of being on the stage..so therefore she's single and likes to rant about it. and i also think i came upon this subject because i just learned of some dear friends, a couple of couples, who have split up. and also the semi recent news of me and bryson breaking up and i'm now with jon and the strange differences between the two boys.. and here is my thought on dating in high school: we're stupid. i'm not saying its bad cuz, well, i do it! but i mean we get so caught up in our own little world and we think we're so happy and that nothing will shake us, nothing will stop us, we'll love each other forever and get married and all sorts of unrealistic dreams. i mean how many people out there actually marry their high school sweetheart?? i'll admit, i got caught up in this fantasy too. but you know what?..when he left for college and i was left alone, i felt like i was tied down and i really did feel alone. then that relationship ended and everybody freaked out cuz them and their little high school minds thought we were gonna get married! but when i got out of that relationship, i realized how stupid and how young and naive i was..the both of us are SOO young! and we were stupid. and now i'm with this super sweet guy jon and we actually talked about what will happen when we graduate, and i'm very happy to say, we both agreed to go our seperate ways. we have thought realistically and keeping minds open. he'll be going to the u and i'll be going to suu. and we both were in serious high school relationships and we were stupid and in the end we realized we were stupid! and we're not gonna hope and dream and wish we'll wait for each other and try to have a long distance relationship during our first year at college. i mean thats just stupid! tied down and miserable. but after we both agreed on that, it just makes me love him more.. but i wont let myself get caught up in that serious high school relationship thing again! and i hope that my friends who recently split look back on their relationship and not think bad on the person and the great connection they had, but look back at their serious high school relationship and think..we were stupid..and learn from the experience. and maybe one saturday morning they'll wake up early and with their open and alert mind they'll come upon the same conclusion as i have this morning.

winter break update!

so little update in my life! so its been christmas break this past week and i've been laying around a lot which has been soo nice!! the saddest part of the break has been the lack of boyfriend..he's been in florida this whole time..and he's coming back next week..sniffle..but its ok! he's called me a number of times everyday so its all good :D
so for christmas i got a nice flat iron! a little speaker thingymagig for my ipod that i could take with me to college next year! a few dvds! and have to mention rock band! it was more of a present for the whole family, but ya know. its cool. lol! so yeah! very very good christmas! and um this week i'll be working and possibly going to the human body exhibit and probably practicing my scene with mike and possibly hanging out with my girlies on new years, i'm not sure what i'm doing new years...but yeah ya know. just chilling out :) its been nice and relaxing this winter break!
hope youre all having a good winter break as well!! love and miss you!!