we're stupid

its amazing what a little thing like waking up early can do for your mind. for the christmas break i have been sleeping in till 11 or noon every day cuz i prefer to sleep half the day away i guess..makes the break go by faster..but today i decided i'd wake up early so when i get up for 9 o clock church tomorrow and when i go back to school on monday i'm not dying. and even though i only got a few hours of sleep last night, being alone in the quiet living room with the sun coming up letting light slowly come in through the windows, i find myself more alert and my strange and obscure mind is actually functioning and i'm..thinking..weird....i also actually took my vitamins and pills today maybe that has something to do with it too..i dunno.
so anywho, with my mind being more alert, i let my crazy random mind go and i randomly came upon the thought of how dramatic high school is, particularly on the subject of dating. i think i came upon this subject because one, i was looking up a play that i took a monologue out of and my character in the play is a high school student who just wants to be loved, but she's quirky and obsessive compulsive and has strange dreams of being on the stage..so therefore she's single and likes to rant about it. and i also think i came upon this subject because i just learned of some dear friends, a couple of couples, who have split up. and also the semi recent news of me and bryson breaking up and i'm now with jon and the strange differences between the two boys.. and here is my thought on dating in high school: we're stupid. i'm not saying its bad cuz, well, i do it! but i mean we get so caught up in our own little world and we think we're so happy and that nothing will shake us, nothing will stop us, we'll love each other forever and get married and all sorts of unrealistic dreams. i mean how many people out there actually marry their high school sweetheart?? i'll admit, i got caught up in this fantasy too. but you know what?..when he left for college and i was left alone, i felt like i was tied down and i really did feel alone. then that relationship ended and everybody freaked out cuz them and their little high school minds thought we were gonna get married! but when i got out of that relationship, i realized how stupid and how young and naive i was..the both of us are SOO young! and we were stupid. and now i'm with this super sweet guy jon and we actually talked about what will happen when we graduate, and i'm very happy to say, we both agreed to go our seperate ways. we have thought realistically and keeping minds open. he'll be going to the u and i'll be going to suu. and we both were in serious high school relationships and we were stupid and in the end we realized we were stupid! and we're not gonna hope and dream and wish we'll wait for each other and try to have a long distance relationship during our first year at college. i mean thats just stupid! tied down and miserable. but after we both agreed on that, it just makes me love him more.. but i wont let myself get caught up in that serious high school relationship thing again! and i hope that my friends who recently split look back on their relationship and not think bad on the person and the great connection they had, but look back at their serious high school relationship and think..we were stupid..and learn from the experience. and maybe one saturday morning they'll wake up early and with their open and alert mind they'll come upon the same conclusion as i have this morning.