second chance

i have now been a single woman for almost a whole two months. amazing! hey, thats longer than i've ever been single before. and these past two months have been completely eye opening. i have learned so much about myself and more about what i need versus what i want. i dont have everything figured out, but i am definitely willing to learn more.
things i have learned about myself:
-i am a selfish person
-i dont listen to other people's advice
-i act like i can be a leader, but i have always been a follower
-i was not meant to work graveyard shifts
things i'm going to do about it:
-pause, breathe, and soften my heart
-with my softened heart, also open my mind
-do what makes me happy, not just short term, but a lasting happiness
-get another freaking job....no more being an ass wiper/cna. gonna find something that makes me truely happy (this goes along with the goal up above, lasting happiness will also be found in glorious new fantasy job..)
i am ready for my new chance at a happy life. i decided long ago to never regret anything. and i dont. not one piece of my life. good has come out of every situation, whether i've seen it or it was something small i haven't seen yet. i am learning from the ups and downs of my past, most especially these past four years, and these next four plus years will be better and happier, and filled with more ups than downs.
its not a true blog of mine without a poem.

baby steps

her hands of clay
are still soft
one day her hands want
to work
one day her hands want
to heal
one day her hands want
to comfort
she's distraught by
her indecision
but her hands are not stiff
her hands of clay
are still soft

her heart of wings
is still developing
one day her heart wants
to soar
one day her heart wants
to sing
one day her heart wants
to escape
she's distraught by
her indecision
but her heart is not ready
her heart of wings
is still developing

her mind of miles
is taking baby steps
one day her mind wants
to explore
one day her mind wants
to create
one day her mind wants
to run
she's distraught by
her indecision
but her mind is still young
her mind of miles
is taking baby steps