feeling better

so you know how i was all stressed out in first period? well then in second i cried for half of the period.. it finally reached its breaking point and i spilled! i still got my assignment done and such but ya know.. it was just sad cuz so many people went up to me and asked if everythings alright. they thought someone died or something! i mean i was crying for literally half the class period! but i told them i was fine and that i was actually feeling better. and the rest of the day after that was just fine and dandy and completely normal like i had never had that little half and hour of crying part of my day. so just letting people know that i'm doing better and all is well.
oh! another thing, referring to my advice on college blog, i have made my decision and i feel that it is the right decision for many reasons.. i will be staying here and working for a year. i have so many theater learning opportunities here and i have a good job that has good promotion opportunities here and i can stay at home or live with friends here and i can focus on my goal (ucmt) and slowly progress to adulthood and feel more confident about it all rather than jumping the gun and going over my head. i simply just feel better about staying here. so! there ya go. oh! and i wrote a poem about my overload in creative writing today! here it is..

~congestion

i'm sick
stuffed up
mucus
stress
wanna scream and
let it all go
away

eyes puffed and
filled with
blood
worry

nose running and
filled with
snot
anger

ears plugged and
filled with
fluid
white noise

thoat scratched and
filled with
damage
cries

mind congested and
filled with
running
thoughts
thoughts
running
away from me
scared
stuffed
up
stiff

i'm sick
sick of
damaged cries
fluid white noise
snot anger
bloody worry
mucus stress
sick.

in need..

sitting in class..
absolutely nothing to do..
i'd totally get on facebook!...........but the school computers wont let you go on those sights..
and i'd watch some sort of tv online...............but my computer's sound isnt working..
So!!
here i am sitting in class listening to my ipod and letting my thoughts race.. my thoughts are starting to give up.. losing its own race..

yes. thats busy. that sick of being sick. that tired.. in need of a break.
but ya know we're performing rules of comedy next week and i think once i'm on stage performing and this tri is over things will turn up again. and also its the sweethearts dance tomorrow and i'm really excited for that! it will be nice and relaxing and fun and i'll blow some steam through dance. best way to blow steam :} another is performing. another is poetry. i'm currently writing a great one. i'll post it when its finished and polished.
another great way to blow steam? venting.. thanks for reading mine. i already feel better..

WAIT! one more thing!! i suffer from a very severe and deathly case of spring fever.. i cant express the agnst and the need for warm thin jacket weather.


that is all.
thanks for letting me lift a little of this load.

advice on college? :/

ok..so! heres the thing. i need to decide what exactly i'm doing after i graduate, and i'm having a difficult time because no matter which way i go i'm on my own financially which scares me.
so heres my situation. for absolute sure i will be going to ucmt (utah college of massage therapy) in a year or two. thats a 7 month college and is one of the best massage therapy schools in the nation. i am for sure going there. but now i have the dilemma of what to do till then. i did get accepted to suu in cedar city and i have a $1000 scholarship there and i would love to go there for a year to gain some university experience and to have a fun little adventure. but i would be on my own 5ish hours away from home without a car and about $250 in addition to my scholarship. i'm scared of getting into some serious debt for a year of college that wont help me towards my career. so i have the other option of working for a year and saving up my money for ucmt.
now i look at this situation and the smart one would be staying home and working, but i dont want to miss out on a good opportunity. so.. if there is any advice anybody could give me and help me give me some insight so that i can make this decision before its too late..

update!

hey! its been a while since i've blogged. so ok i'm gonna update!
so i went to uta a little while ago. it was soo much fun! we went to a lot of fun workshops, saw some awesome plays, i got new headshots, and got to spend so much fun with jon and all my theater buddies! it was so much fun best uta ever! :D also while we were there, i asked jon to sweethearts, brightons valentines dance! i made him go on a scavenger hunt! it lasted the whole 3 days! it was great! :D and he doesnt want to admit it, but jon loved it ;)
and then this week, i'm performing in the dance concert at brighton. i'm doing some ballroom! jitterbug! its way fun :D and then next week and week after that we're doing after school rehearsals for rules of comedy, and then on the first weekend of march, 4, 5, and 6, we'll be performing the show! you all should come see! its about, well, the rules of comedy, and we apply these rules to shakespeare's hamlet! starts at 7, tickets are 5 each, and the audience will be sitting on the stage with the actors so that means fewer seats. only about 100 seats maybe a little more each night, so if you could get back to me and get pre-sold tickets, that would be better and you would get a guaranteed seat. so please get back to me if youre interested!
so, finishing my update, my life is theater, work, and my wonderful boyfriend jon! yup! love that boy.. yeah! lol! :D