remembering and understanding

i was ten during 9/11, and i remember every minute of that day. i was in 5th grade and i remember getting up for school and the tv was on and i saw the towers on fire. i didnt quite understand what was going on and the seriousness of it. i remember that i was having friend problems an i wanted to fit in with the popular girls, and that was all that was important to me at the time. then i remember going to school and watching the news most of the day. i remember my teacher crying and other teachers coming in the classroom in tears. i saw the clip of the towers falling so many times and it still get into my head what it meant. people explained it to me but i still didnt understand. i remember that the next day when we delivered the paper there was a big picture of the burning towers and my mom crying. i remember my teacher making us write papers on what happened and draw pictures and my picture was chosen to be published in this school paper about the events. with all that happened i didnt understand, i still dont fully understand. i dont think anyone does. i remember the thoughts and feelings that i felt after they had a more concrete number of deaths. i remember feeling sad and guilty and feeling i'd never understand the feelings going through those peoples families. i remember.. i'll always remember