all's fair in love and war.........who thought of that????

i am now 18 years old! my birthday was august 1. its a little crazy that i am legally an adult..i mean dont feel any different but it is different..and its just weird.
on last saturday i had planned a pool party at my best friend, tanya's house. but early that day i got a text from tanya saying that her grandpa is dying and the party cant be at her house anymore.. i was freaking out. i didnt know where the party was going to be anymore i didnt know who would be able to make it there anymore and it was just frustrating.. tanya had a back up plan and bought a camp site. we told everyone that said they would make an appearance and the people that really cared about me showed up. which i was totally ok with! :) and we ate and had cake and had music playing and it turned out to be so much fun dispite the drama :D and afterwards we went to kat's house and played apples to apples, a couple more people showed up and that was way fun! it just turned out to be an awesome night and even though we didnt swim, it was just what i wanted it to be, just hanging out with my good friends.
and this week as been an interesting one..some major ups and downs..had some confrontation with my boyfriend but solved it right away (i cant stay mad at him damn it..) and now i am helping one of my very very good friends through a trial of his and..love is stupid and reckless and confusing and conflicting and painful and dramatic and immature and hellish and wonderful and sweet all at the same time....and i've decided that you are never too young to fall in love. i think about my crazy parents that got married at 19 and 22 barely off his mission knew each other 2 weeks before getting engaged..and i think about my crazier grandparents that got married at 17 and 18..and then i look at some of my friends that have been dating a while or my friend that is having some girl issues or even me and jon and..love is for any age..but its what you decide to do with it that what makes the difference. no matter what you decide there will be hardship and pain but if you decide to hold onto them you get the hardship and pain and major responsibility and the happiness and affection and support and devotion and then thats when you make the decision to focus on the positive and that is when it is worth it. that is what anybody of any age should experience. if they can make it through the trials then love is worth it. i am not saying that i am going to be getting married at a crazy young age cuz i'm not. but i am saying that if i was in love and if he asked me to marry him when we thought it was right when we could handle the responsibility, i would say yes, no matter what age. on that note, i'm not planning on getting married til at the very earliest, 21. that is when i will be done with college and getting on my feet. when i can TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY. yeah....i dont want my mom reading this expecting a talk with a ring on my finger anytime soon......no mom. no. barely 18..crazy talk.. but yeah point being, love sucks and is messed up but youre never too young for it. yay. :P

good week!!

i finally have a driver's license!!!!!! i took the road test at 1130ish today and i aced it!..except for the stupid parallel parking which i nailed on the head last time but screwed it up this time..but that was my only mistake!!!! i didnt ignore the flashing red lights!!!!! :D
on other news, my jonny has been on vacation the past week and i miss him terribly....he has been at comic con for the majority of his trip and i am a nerd so i am jealous..and yesterday he was at six flags and i have never been so i am jealous..and now he is in vegas and he is going sky diving today..i am not that jealous..and he is coming home tomorrow and i am so excited!! very very excited!! :D
also this week! i am turning 18 years old on saturday!!!! i will be an adult!! sort of bittersweet.. but hey! theres some sweet in there! and i'm gonna have a party with some of my close friends at my best freinds house with the big pool and i am very very excited! its gonna be awesome!! :D
yay for monumental birthdays, driver's licenses, and boyfriends coming home!!!! :D :D :D

taking a deep breath..

recap of the last week: harry potter (horrible sirius black costume, but great movie :) ), working lots but still want a bigger paycheck.., and rotten person hurting one of my very best friends (i wanna kick some....). yup! very exciting week......

heres my quote for today..

"thats what we do, we fight. you tell me when i'm being an arrogant son of a bitch, and i tell you when youre being a pain in the ass, which is 99% of the time. i'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. you have like a 2 second rebound rate and then youre back doing the next pain in the ass thing. i'm saying its not gonna be easy...its gonna be really hard. we're gonna have to work at it everyday. but i wanna do that cause i want you. i want all of you, you and me together...everyday for the rest of my life." ~the notebook (wonderful movie)

dont ignore red flashing lights.........

so.. this morning went back to the dmv. took the written test and....only missed 4 questions! went from failing twice, the second time failing by one question, to passing with flying colors. yay for studying! but then i went to get the road test. well first off it was a pain to even get the road test today! i went over to the window where you sign up for the road test and they couldnt schedule me til the 28!! i would rather not get my license just barely before my 18th birthday..so i went back to my mom and we sat for a second. then we remembered the sweet lady that we went to last week and she said that if i passed the test that i could go back to her and get the road test done that day. so we found her and i went to her and asked if she could take me now. she said that last week was different because it was a holiday weekend..but she'd see what she could do. it pays off being cute and sweet and likeable :) so she went over to the window and she found that someone had signed up twice for today. so! she was able to take me right then! so i took the car and went in the course in the back. well......good news! she said that i had very good control of the car, good at parallel parking and u-turns and such things like that!........bad news.. i didnt signal as much as i should have. i was going a little too fast in the school zone. and i sorta kinda ignored the railroad crossing..which was an automatic fail..so.. i dont have a drivers license. but! now i now what to expect! and next time, on the 28th, i wont ignore red flashing lights and wont get run over by a train and fail the road test! :/

on the road again

two years ago, end of my sophomore year i went to summer drivers ed. i got an a- in the class. i only missed a couple points on the range. and then that september i passed the road test first try. then i had my permit, got all my hours done.. and then a year later my permit expired.. and now, another year later, here i am, graduated from high school, with no permit and no drivers license.. it just simply hasnt been important to me to get it taken care of. but now that i am getting closer and closer to adulthood, i think its about time i get my drivers license. so! i went to the dmv this morning. its best to go early early in the morning when they first open. we didnt have a long wait, and when we were called up, i explained my situation and all they said i had to do was take the written test over again, and the road test over again, and i could instantly get my license! so i got excited and thought that i could get my license today. well i went to take the test and well..i'm a little rustier than i thought i was..it throws a lot of curveball questions that caught me off guard.. so i failed the test. but you get three tries! so i tried again!..and i failed a second time..by..ONE..question.. soooo frustrating!! and they can only let you test twice in one day, which i was ok with cuz i obviously needed to study and i only had one more try..so i took a drivers ed book home with me, gonna drive a little bit for practice, and i'll be going back to the dmv on monday. i'll be taking the test again, passing it this time, take the road test, and pass that as well, and, Finally!, get my drivers license! and after i get my drivers license??.. i'll buy a bus pass.

to play? or to work? or stress myself out and do both?

so heres the present dilemma.. right now i'm in seussical at the sandy amphitheater. but i have to work more this summer so that i can be able to move into an apartment with my friend tanya in september. now heres the problem, i depended on being able to get shifts during the day..but noodles & company only has hours open at night.. and work is much more important to me than doing seussical.. and i deceded to do the show so that i can be with my family i had to be talked into coming to the call backs..i think i could do some backstage work..i just need to set my priorities.. my parents suggested looking at getting another job in addition to noodles, but i wont do that..cuz i'd only be there for a couple of months and its been hard to find a job lately anyways..and i like my job now and i'd rather work more with what i've got.. and i need to work! i need to be able to move out in september! and save up money for college and i need to get on my feet and that doesnt involve theater sucking up all my time.. i do feel bad i hate backing out of something last minute..i shouldnt have depended on getting all these shifts..i should have been smarter about my decision and thought ahead.. i feel really bad.. i do.. but i gotta do what i gotta do.. sigh.. these adult decisions and taking responsibilities for my actions and my choices and such sucks..

viva vacation

its been a while since i've blogged..cuz nothing new and exciting was happening.. but! i just got back home from vacation in vegas! woo something new to blog about!
so we left early early in the morning on wednesday (when i say early i mean we woke up at 4 am..) and we started the drive! we first went to bryce canyon. i had never gone so it was fun and new! i absolutely loved it!! at one time in my life i wanted to be a geologist so the rocks and everything about them; color, texture, form, ect..just fasinated me! and i was feeling adventurous that day so i did lots of climbing in steep places and going to the edge and looking down and other such things that gave my mom a heart attack. it was soo much fun!! ;D then we slept in the car, woke up in cedar city and had a picnic in the suu campus.
we got to las vegas from between 5-6 (there was a time change somewhere in there so i'm not completely sure..) and vegas was nice and hot! we got there, went out to eat, looked around circus circus, got our rooms (mom dad and jessi were in one room, me russell and kira were in another, we were about five rooms apart) and went to sleep. it was soo nice! cuz i got to sleep on my own bed..it was awesome!
side note: i hate vegas. i mean there is all sorts of fun stuff to do there! as i will mention in the next paragraph.. but there are only so many places you can go and not feel uncomfortable be all the unnecissary smut that covers the city..for a girl with morals and an actual sense of character and genuine beauty..i hate the porn and people who love the porn..i mean seriously?? its just disgusting! girls, get a REAL job. boys (yes they are boys, not men), get a life, grow some balls, get some morals, and maybe get the real thing if you deserve it after you get a life, balls, and morals. and you know, the majority of the people in vegas are so mean! ya know i love going on vacation, but i wont miss the smut and rude people..
so anyways! the next day we went around the strip and did all sorts of stuff in the morning, early afternoon. we looked around the venitian, which looks like italy! and i would like to go there someday..so i loved loved LOVED the venitian and the canal they had through the hotel, with the gondola, the sistine chapel replica, and we shared a tiramasu. loved it!!
its tradition everytime we pass through or stop in vegas we go to the coke and m&m museum. and when we go to the coke museum we always take a family picture with the coke bear. this year, they got rid of the statue thing..and its alive..guy in a suit.. ya know it was cool. and its kinda sad cuz it'll probably be the last time i go to vegas with my family as one of the kids living at home so..yeah..
and then we spent the rest of the day in the adventure dome! part of circus circus.. it was fun! i love a good rollercoaster :)
yesterday we drove straight home..slept a lot in the car..and when we got back we went out to eat and saw up in 3d. if any of you havent had a chance to see that, see it now! i absolutely love that movie..its so sweet..
and now i'm chilling out at home! tonight i'm gonna go out with my wonderful boyfriend! we do the silly month anniversary thing..and we're kinda cheating..cuz we went out for 5 months, were broken up for a month, and now we've been together for another month, we decided not to ignore the first 5 months, so its out 6 month today..really its just an excuse to go on a nice date :)
so..starting next week, since vacation is over, and after the date tonight, its time to focus on everything else i need to do this summer. time to focus on seussical, on getting a drivers lisence, and working more to get money for college and an apartment in september. woo..