stuck in limbo

school for everybody started on wednesday. wednesday morning i woke up at around 8 to an empty house..i feel like i am sluffing school..it is the weirdest feeling not going to college with all my friends..it makes me a little sad.. i really do love school. i love learning! and i wish i could go to ucmt this year..but i am paying for college myself. so heres the other half of my problem. i have been working at noodles and company for a little over a year now and its a great job! i like it there and the people i work with like me and its customer service which i do best at and i feel over qualified for my job..but i'm also feeling under used.. every once in a while they will give me 20-30 hours a week and getting payed almost 8 and hour which is great..but its not what i need. in order for me to be making enough for me to be going to college and move out this upcoming spring or summer i need to be making more than i am.. so what i am probably gonna be doing it getting a different job. as much as i really do like it at noodles i need more! so! i was talking to my bff tanya and she works as an cna and she suggested that i do the same! they start off at 9 an hour, i'd be able to work a good morning shift everyday and there is a went worth retirement home that is within walking distance of my house. probably today before work or tomorrow after work and ask about the job. i think it would be a good job for me! so hopefully things will work out and i'll get the job and save up enough money :) wish me luck!

oh! and..giggle!..yesterday was jon and i's 8 month anniversary. yes we know its really cheesy to celebrate month anniversaries and its just an excuse to go on a date but yesterday he surprised me with a picnic and got me a small photo album and a disposable camera and we started filling our first album! and it was so fun and so cute and the best part? he thought of that all his own :D he's so freaking cute!!! i love that boy :D it was nice to get a moment of sweet romance and get a break from the stress of jobs school and money.. and hopefully this the first album of many and many many more months to come ;D

current inspiration

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiqiTrMVLdQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GEXZXxtDtY&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saT3Sw8Bt8U&feature=related






































"things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember"

all's fair in love and war.........who thought of that????

i am now 18 years old! my birthday was august 1. its a little crazy that i am legally an adult..i mean dont feel any different but it is different..and its just weird.
on last saturday i had planned a pool party at my best friend, tanya's house. but early that day i got a text from tanya saying that her grandpa is dying and the party cant be at her house anymore.. i was freaking out. i didnt know where the party was going to be anymore i didnt know who would be able to make it there anymore and it was just frustrating.. tanya had a back up plan and bought a camp site. we told everyone that said they would make an appearance and the people that really cared about me showed up. which i was totally ok with! :) and we ate and had cake and had music playing and it turned out to be so much fun dispite the drama :D and afterwards we went to kat's house and played apples to apples, a couple more people showed up and that was way fun! it just turned out to be an awesome night and even though we didnt swim, it was just what i wanted it to be, just hanging out with my good friends.
and this week as been an interesting one..some major ups and downs..had some confrontation with my boyfriend but solved it right away (i cant stay mad at him damn it..) and now i am helping one of my very very good friends through a trial of his and..love is stupid and reckless and confusing and conflicting and painful and dramatic and immature and hellish and wonderful and sweet all at the same time....and i've decided that you are never too young to fall in love. i think about my crazy parents that got married at 19 and 22 barely off his mission knew each other 2 weeks before getting engaged..and i think about my crazier grandparents that got married at 17 and 18..and then i look at some of my friends that have been dating a while or my friend that is having some girl issues or even me and jon and..love is for any age..but its what you decide to do with it that what makes the difference. no matter what you decide there will be hardship and pain but if you decide to hold onto them you get the hardship and pain and major responsibility and the happiness and affection and support and devotion and then thats when you make the decision to focus on the positive and that is when it is worth it. that is what anybody of any age should experience. if they can make it through the trials then love is worth it. i am not saying that i am going to be getting married at a crazy young age cuz i'm not. but i am saying that if i was in love and if he asked me to marry him when we thought it was right when we could handle the responsibility, i would say yes, no matter what age. on that note, i'm not planning on getting married til at the very earliest, 21. that is when i will be done with college and getting on my feet. when i can TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY. yeah....i dont want my mom reading this expecting a talk with a ring on my finger anytime soon......no mom. no. barely 18..crazy talk.. but yeah point being, love sucks and is messed up but youre never too young for it. yay. :P